In my childhood, I learned about God’s saving grace through Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross. However, I thought then that doing good works counted a lot since the emphasis on a Catholic environment was on following the Law (i.e., the 10 Commandments). With this mindset, I was not fully able to comprehend God’s love and plan for my life and how in His infinite mercy and wisdom, He wants me to be reconciled with Him through Christ. Soon, I began to rely on my own ability and capacity although I could already sense how God has been guiding me through difficult times. Still, I headed off toward the roads which, I thought, would lead me to success and fulfillment. In the process, I was like the Israelites who wandered aimlessly in the desert without solid theological groundings and spiritual anchor. I realized that there was more to life than what ephemeral measures of success could offer. As stated in the Bible, I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit (Ecclesiastes 1:14). But somehow, I kept on toiling and trying (and repeatedly failing) to measure up with God’s standards. These eventually led me to spiritual blindness.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior during a leadership seminar way back in 1983. Although I attended a few Bible studies from then on, I was still in the world and its false promise of glory and security. My old self could not be reconciled with the fact that I should totally and completely rely on Christ on a moment to moment basis. There was a constant struggle between trying to be a master of my own destiny and trusting God completely. I just did not follow up on having fellowship with other dedicated Christians and finding a church that could help me grow in my relationship with God. Hence, I became a nominal Christian. My spiritual growth was stunted in the process, and reached a plateau in my relationship with the Lord. My priorities were my studies, and then my job. God was not the center of my life then.
I continued to be spiritually blind and not trusting God enough to supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Throughout those years, I realized that God has been watching over me. By God’s grace and His constant tugging in my heart, I decided to return home to God’s loving and forgiving arms like the prodigal son. I knew that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
My life and interests have changed. Before, I was obsessed with playing badminton and trying to be at the top of the game. Now, my priority is walking with the Lord and my family. I am still a work-in-progress but everyday, I savor the feeling of tasting God’s grace and mercy. I have realized how true the words of Paul when he wrote that “For in Him we live, and move, and have our being…” (Acts 17:28). And like the scales that fell from Paul’s eyes, the blinders that contributed to my spiritual blindness have since been removed. It is my prayer that God would sustain me in my walk with Christ and that me and my household would serve the Lord forever (Joshua 24:15).
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior during a leadership seminar way back in 1983. Although I attended a few Bible studies from then on, I was still in the world and its false promise of glory and security. My old self could not be reconciled with the fact that I should totally and completely rely on Christ on a moment to moment basis. There was a constant struggle between trying to be a master of my own destiny and trusting God completely. I just did not follow up on having fellowship with other dedicated Christians and finding a church that could help me grow in my relationship with God. Hence, I became a nominal Christian. My spiritual growth was stunted in the process, and reached a plateau in my relationship with the Lord. My priorities were my studies, and then my job. God was not the center of my life then.
I continued to be spiritually blind and not trusting God enough to supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Throughout those years, I realized that God has been watching over me. By God’s grace and His constant tugging in my heart, I decided to return home to God’s loving and forgiving arms like the prodigal son. I knew that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
My life and interests have changed. Before, I was obsessed with playing badminton and trying to be at the top of the game. Now, my priority is walking with the Lord and my family. I am still a work-in-progress but everyday, I savor the feeling of tasting God’s grace and mercy. I have realized how true the words of Paul when he wrote that “For in Him we live, and move, and have our being…” (Acts 17:28). And like the scales that fell from Paul’s eyes, the blinders that contributed to my spiritual blindness have since been removed. It is my prayer that God would sustain me in my walk with Christ and that me and my household would serve the Lord forever (Joshua 24:15).
1 comment:
How beautiful. I too have grown in the Grace of Jesus, day by day, year by year. Like in Psalm 139~He knew me in my Mother's wound and planned each day, as yet there were none of them. I look back and God was always holding me,taking care of me and my family. Down every road I have been blessed, protected, guard even in my foolishness and bad choices. I see now that He was still there. His grace brought me to where I am now.
Thank you, Lord, You are Awesome. May we all grow more like the Savior and less like us.
I appreciate your honesty, Jones, and your dedication to our Lord. love, bettyd
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